Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I fly tomorrow and nothing would be organised if it wasn't for my beautiful friend Anja who started packing for me last night, truly delightful as she did in 2 hours what I would have done in about 8 today, lush!

I'm quite relieved that the preperation is nearly over and I am actually going!! Bring it on! so excited.

The plan for the next few days is: Meet Helen tomorrow evening to get our plane to dar es salaam, arriving there at 7:30 am. helen then flys to Pemba and I'm hanging out by the beach in dar till lunchtime saturday, when I fly to pemba (not sure what time yet!!)

Prayer for the above would be beautiful, particularly my flight to Pemba, its a bit of a mystery at the mo!

Was reflecting on the last 3 months and how God has taken me from the word "It is possible", to providing around 2500 pounds and here I am. And so many times I have doubted his goodness, many lessons learnt...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I went to see the film "Hotel Rwanda" last night and it wrecked me. The film marks the story of a hotel manager and his family at the outbreak of the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. This guy ends up buying the lives of 1128 people and helping them escape.

What totally got me was when all the people from western nations were being evacuated out of the country, and France and Belgum had sent troops to enable the evacuation. Soon it became apparent that the troops weren't there to help the rwandans but purely to ensure their white counterparts left the country safely. The UN commander stands in disbelief as he realises that this is the case and turns to the hotel manager and says, " They're not going to help you. To them your nothing. Your not even a nigger, you're an African, you're nothing."

This wrecked me completely. And I thought why is this the case? It would seem that the value of human life does have a price tag on it. Call me cynical but had there been monetry benefit in helping Rwanda the west would have intervened. But instead the western world stood by as millions were slaughtered. It made me ashamed to be the colour I am and from the nation I am.

I could completely go off on one about it, it made me sick. And it reminded me that there is a time coming when it won't matter what colour i am or what passport I have none of that will save me, only which eternal destiny I have chosen.

On a lighter note(!)........... 1 week to go!

Monday, May 16, 2005

My uni career officially ended on Saturday....
To all my friends in Southampton (you know who you are!) massive thanks for...

......the bladin squad, the chicken dance, supporting my crazy prayer walks, the best day on the isle of wight ever, fr giving up your one day off to set up the prayer room, for cooking for our crazy alpha course, driving me to the hospital when I got glo stick in my eyes, for drum n bass nights, the best nativity play I have ever been to (!), blagging lectures to go to the zoo, the night of prayer in the chaplaincy, city life weekend away part 1, stealing half a tree from the common, brownies at the cowherds, "days of joy", beach trips, chilling in "lattes", funky nights in Rhinos, nicking my bed out of my room on B2 and leaving it halfway down the corridoor, the scavenger hunt and the santa suit, my 21st in Orange rooms, dippy egg and toast, climbing through the window, happy days watching Dawson's.... the best leaving beautifulness ever (all about pancakes and maple syrup)......
.....the inspiration
love yas

Friday, May 13, 2005

Something happened to me this evening, the nature of which doesn't usually happen to me, yet I should expect it to with the size of the God that I have. I realised earlier that I was still short of quite abit of money to take to Mozambique and to cover bills here. I returned to Southampton today and got back to my house late tonight and found some post on my bed. The first envelope I opened was a cheque for a considerable amount of money and exactly what I needed to cover the remainder of my costs. It was like the money had literally dropped out of heaven, I cried... alot!

Why do I not expect of my God, who loves me more than I could ever imagine to provide for me in the way that he has promised? I am still overwhelmed when God shows just how much he loves me and is concerned about me. All through this preperation process God has surprised me at every turn and I find myself whispering, "God, that you would do that for me?" I have no idea of the depth and tangible nature of God's love for me. I guess its just something I have the joy of discovering as I journey. And yet I still feel overwhelmed.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I feel like I have been on holiday for the last week, it's been beautiful! I went to Sheffield for a few days to hang with my friend fi and went to a conference at St Toms where Rolland and Heidi Baker were speaking. It actually blew me away. On the first night Heidi spoke, I ran to the front in response to a call she made and after being "overshadowed" by the Holy Spirit as heidi calls it, which meant hysterical laughter for about an hour, God took me back to certain events in my life and showed me how how he has been preparing me all along for this. he also showed me stuff about his call for the future, which wasn't what I was expecting but kind of makes sense. hearing about what God is doing in Mozambique and all over Africa, I felt like I was coming home and it was like Jesus said, "you see now? you see why I have prepared you in the way that I have?!" And I am sure he has only showed me not even a glimpse of what he has for me.

The level of annointing that the bakers have made me wonder how much time must they spend just hangin out with Jesus? I came home on Friday, already feeling like a different person and wondering what I will be like after 3 months, scary.
I then spent a joyous weekend with my friends in Suffolk who I haven't seen for couple of years but as is always the case with real friends, that never matters. And I was reminded while I was there about an illustration I had been shown when I was about 16 at a youth event and just how much that simple illustration bears on my life now. A member of the audience was asked to place the end of a ythread of cotton between his first finger and his thumb. the cotton reel was then wound all round the room until eventually the supply of cotton was no more. The illustrator then informed the audience that the length of cotton held between the fingers of the volunteer represented the length of our lives and the rest of the thread as it zig zagged across the room was eternity. The point was that we have the smallest, most miniscule amount of time to influence eternity. I decided then, sat on the floor of that church, that my short time on earth was going to influence hugely my eternity and that I was going to start now, not wait because time is short. And I guess God reminded me of that decision this weekend as I am about to enter a totally different stage of life, and I reconfirmed that decsion to make it count. I am not interested in Christianity if it is just an addition to my other wise material centred lifestyle. I want it to change all of me and take me to places I would never have dreamed of going. Here's to the adventure!